In the first part of this brief guide to confession, the essential matters concerning repentance, preparation for confession, and the distinction between proper and improper confession were outlined concisely. In this part, we shall say something more about the specific sins that ought to be confessed (if, of course, they have been committed), their variations, as well as their interrelation and genesis. We shall not present a concrete method for the eradication of particular passions (i.e., sins that have become habitual), except in certain cases briefly and incidentally—the focus of this text is confession as such.*
Generally speaking, the classification of sins may be carried out in several ways. According to their manifestation, sins may be divided into those committed by deed, word, and thought; according to their perceptibility, into visible, clearly discernible sins, and into sinful states that are internal and therefore more difficult to perceive; according to their gravity, into so-called mortal sins and those that are not; according to the degree of awareness of the transgression, into conscious and unconscious sins (although in confession, of course, we mention only those sins of which we are aware—there is no place in confession for the phrase “perhaps I have sinned in this or that way”).
For practical reasons, we shall divide the sins that ought to be confessed into two major groups: those that are external, visible, and bodily, and those that are internal, invisible, and mental. This division is, naturally, of a relative character, since some sins possess both dimensions (external and internal) or inseparably connect them; nevertheless, for the purposes of this text, we adopt the aforementioned categorisation for the sake of a simpler systematisation. Within this framework, we shall introduce an additional subdivision, concerning the gradation of sins according to their gravity and specificity.
Confession of Visible, Bodily Sins
Let us begin with the confession of external, visible, bodily sins, and thus those that are easily discernible. Some of the grave sins belonging to this group—such as murder, adultery, fornication, and theft—have already been mentioned in the first part, along with an explanation of their narrower and broader context. If these grave sins have been committed in a literal and direct sense, they should be confessed in a separate confession devoted solely to the act in question. A similar logic, we may observe, is present in bodily health—if there exists a severe primary wound on the body, it is always treated first, and only thereafter do we attend to lesser wounds that do not immediately endanger life.
If, however, we have participated in these sins indirectly or to a lesser or greater degree, or if they are present in us only on the level of thought, then they should be mentioned together with the other sins being confessed, since in that case the gravity of the transgression is not the same as in the case of a direct offence in the strict sense.
Among the aforementioned mortal sins, one stands out in our time by its frequency, to such an extent that it has become a kind of malodorous hallmark of our epoch. This is fornication. For this reason, we shall begin with it in enumerating all that is sinful and ought to be confessed. To begin with, we may observe that, under the influence of the mass media, the passion of fornication today assaults everyone incomparably more intensely than in earlier epochs: both the young and the old, the married and the unmarried, the educated and the uneducated. The mass-media sphere has caused people to become accustomed to fornication as a “new normal” (to employ the peculiar terminology of contemporary newspeak), which is why a considerable number of people no longer perceive it as a grave sin, and in some cases even regard it as justified.
For example, cohabiting unions, in which young people lived as though in a kind of “trial period” before marriage, were once rare in these regions and were considered not only sinful but also a cause of scandal; today, however, such unions are increasingly common, and are understood by the wider social environment as something usual, even advisable, supposedly so that the young might come to know one another better before marriage (if marriage even occurs). Yet this is nothing other than the sin of concubinage, that is, a specific form of fornication which ought to be confessed if it exists, and the situation resolved by the young man and woman (or the man and woman, if they are older) proceeding unambiguously towards a relationship legitimised by the bond of marriage.
When it comes to the sin of fornication, everything begins with lustful fantasies. This is the initial stage, which is not as grave and belongs to the category of internal sin, which over time leads to the external, bodily form. This is a classic example of how a sin may have both an internal and an external operation, constantly intertwining and influencing one another. With regards to lustful fantasies, it is important to emphasise that a lustful thought as such does not constitute a sin if it is not retained in the mind—it is then merely a suggestion which should simply be cut off and rejected as soon as it appears. However, if the suggestion is accepted and begins to develop into a kind of mental “film,” this already represents the sinful stage of the union of the mind with the thought, from which a person is but one step away from consenting to and actualising the sin in practice, bodily. Yet even if a person does not realise this sinful mental desire outwardly, he has committed sin in his heart and has committed mental fornication, which as such ought to be confessed. Lustful fantasies should be confessed concisely, without entering into details, by simply indicating the degree of intensity and frequency of such mental states.
At the next level of gravity is the sin of viewing pornographic content, which in our time has escalated under the influence of the internet. This condition is considerably more serious than lustful fantasies and greatly weakens one’s character if it is not cut off. If these two sins take root in a person, they are usually followed by masturbation (onanism), which already represents a state of a certain enslavement to the passion of fornication, one that is far more difficult to heal than if the lustful thought had been cut off at the very beginning.
As the great spiritual father of our time, Archimandrite Sophrony (Sakharov), observes, all the wartime “slaughters” depicted in the Old Testament are but a prefiguration of the mental annihilation of sinful thoughts, so that no trace of them remains—if a person acquires such a combative disposition of spirit, he will cut fornication off at the root and will not allow it to develop into spiritually dangerous forms. If he does not do so, it will soon lead to fornication in the strict sense, that is, extramarital relations with persons of the opposite sex for the sake of satisfying the sexual drive. This is already a developed stage of the sin. In some cases, the sin of fornication, after this phase, develops into debauchery through constant changes of “sexual partners,” which constitutes an extremely serious stage of the spiritual illness of the soul.
To avoid any misunderstanding, all of the above does not mean that the sin of fornication is “reserved” only for extramarital relationships. On the contrary, fornication may also occur within marriage if spouses lack proper discernment. This occurs, for example, when there is no abstinence during feast days or fasts, although this, on the other hand, is subject to mutual agreement (cf. 1 Cor. 7:5), since the principle holds that the spiritually stronger adapts to the weaker (in order to avoid a marital crisis). It also occurs when there are no sound practices regarding the temporary cessation of marital relations—for instance, during a woman’s pregnancy, when it is necessary to preserve the well-being of the child, which implies abstaining from conjugal relations throughout the duration of the pregnancy. Finally, it occurs in cases of unnatural [contrary to nature] forms of sexual relations between spouses.
The gravest form of fornication, which should not even occcur to a Christian, is connected with unnatural fornication, ranging from incest (which is a sin in itself, though it may loosely be placed within this category), through same-sex sexual relations, to bestiality (relations with animals, which represents a terminal stage of spiritual illness). In general, with regards to fornication, one must bear in mind the clear limitations concerning the reception of Holy Communion, that is, the fact that a person dominated by this passion cannot be thoughtlessly admitted to the Holy Chalice, as the Holy Apostle Paul especially warns us (cf. 1 Cor. 11:27–30). The measure of penance (epitimia) will be determined with discernment by the spiritual father, depending on the degree of the sin and the repentance offered, since the aim of confession is not the rejection of the sinner, but the healing of his soul. In any case, when considering the gravity of the sin of fornication and its variations, one should keep in mind the clear message of the aforementioned Apostle, who says: “Do not be deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor masturbators, nor those who practice homosexuality […] will inherit the Kingdom of God” (1 Cor. 6:9–10).
One must distinguish adultery from fornication. Namely, the root of adultery lies in fornication (that is, in sensuality), yet it constitutes a far graver transgression, since it implies a concrete betrayal through infidelity and a profound injury inflicted upon another person, dealing a serious spiritual blow. This sin is particularly grave in the case of marital unfaithfulness, since the family is a “small church”—one who dares to destroy a marital union thereby strikes at the Church itself. Therefore, in the case of this sin, as with any mortal sin, there can be no justification for its continued commission—the illicit relationship must be terminated immediately after confession, all contact with the person involved in the forbidden relationship must cease, and, proportionate to the transgression, the priest will make a discerning decision regarding the penitential measure that should accompany the process of healing the spiritual wound. As in the case of fornication, the sin of adultery is confessed concisely, without entering into the details of the specific act.
With regards to the sin of adultery, particular attention must be paid to subtle behavioural patterns that indicate the danger of falling. In addition to the presence of the passion of fornication (or sensuality in a broader sense), a catalyst for this type of sin consists in bad habits collectively described by the term flirting (coquetry), which especially includes lustful gazing and the boldness of looks and gestures. These harmful habits should be confessed if they are present—hay and fire cannot long remain together, and harm must be prevented in time by a change in behaviour.
Besides fornication and adultery, something has already been said in the first part about the grave sin of theft (specifically, about its various forms and the differences in the gravity of the offence). This time, let us add that in our civilisation, in which a primitive form of capitalism prevails, sins akin to theft have proliferated, becoming evident in disloyal attitudes toward workers, employees, and business partners. Such sins include, for example, dishonest gain, withholding wages from workers, appropriation of another’s property, failure to repay debts, business fraud, and negligence in work, while the first “relatives” of these sins are speculation and usury. All these sins essentially arise from the passion of avarice, which will be addressed in the section dealing with internal sinful states. If such sins are present, they must certainly be confessed, and the manner of correction will be determined by the spiritual father.
There is one particularly coarse and grave, yet increasingly prevalent visible sin of our time, to which special attention was drawn by Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica. This is the lack of respect for parents. The Apostle Paul, in his Epistle to Timothy, says that in the last times people will become “lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents…” (2 Tim. 3:2). Unfortunately, today we are faced not only with disobedience to parents, but also with an utterly unacceptable attitude towards them, to the extent that some children allow themselves the audacity to sever all contact with their father and mother, some to raise their voices and utter inappropriate words against them, and some even to raise their hand against those through whom God granted them life. Yet the fifth commandment is entirely clear: “Honour thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Exod. 20:12). In other words, one who does not honour his parents comes under the stroke of God’s righteous wrath already in this life.
It should also be borne in mind that honouring one’s parents implies not only refraining from improper and unseemly behaviour towards them, but also cultivating a constant habit of respectful, appropriate, and proper conduct towards them, gratitude for all that they have done for us, and active care for them in their old age. Moreover, as Elder Thaddeus wisely teaches, one must reject every form of mental warfare waged against one’s parents, such as judging them in one’s thoughts. Summa summarum: one’s relationship towards one’s parents must be preserved at all costs, and the sin of disrespect towards parents—whether committed by deed, word, or thought—should be confessed as soon as possible and followed by active repentance.
On the other hand, let us not forget that parents also have obligations before God towards their children and must take care not to fail in their parental duty entrusted to them, given that children are a gift from God and that the parental mission must be fulfilled as befits Orthodox Christians. The Apostle Paul reminds children to honour their parents and, at the same time, warns parents not to provoke their children (Eph. 6:4). In this sense, it is understood that parents are obliged to provide a proper example for their children, to raise them, nourish them, care for them, not to neglect them, and that any form of abuse or mistreatment of children is entirely unacceptable. Accordingly, every form of failure in the parental role should be confessed, and one’s conduct must be corrected without delay.
Indirectly connected with the sin of disrespect towards parents is the sin of disrespect towards the elderly, teachers, benefactors of our family, and especially disrespect towards spiritual fathers and the clergy in general. In our time, under the influence of so-called social networks and the subcultural language prevalent upon them, the sin of disrespect towards the Church hierarchy has particularly escalated, manifesting itself in brutal condemnations and insults directed at clergy of various ranks, all under the guise of freedom of opinion and critical reflection. Let us be clear: no one disputes the right to express a view on matters concerning Church events or to voice disagreement with a particular opinion, stance, or action of the hierarchy; however, it is well known how critical thought should be expressed and what kind of language should be used. Every form of insulting message directed at the Church hierarchy is a grave sin, since such messages are directed towards persons who have been placed by God in their respective positions, whether they live saintly lives or possess ordinary human weaknesses (and, incidentally, who among us is without weaknesses?).
Here again, we are best instructed by the Holy Apostle Paul, and this through his own example. In the Acts of the Apostles, there is recorded an event in which the high priest Ananias commands that the Apostle be struck on the mouth immediately after he had begun his God-inspired speech before the Roman commander and the Sanhedrin. Paul, indignant at such unjust treatment, responds to the high priest with a sentence beginning with the words: “God shall smite thee, thou whited wall!” Those present, offended by such a sharp reaction, said to the Apostle Paul: “Revilest thou God’s high priest?” to which he replied: “I wist not, brethren, that he was the high priest: for it is written, Thou shalt not speak evil of the ruler of thy people” (Acts 23:1–5). This is a very important and instructive passage for our theme, indicating that we have the right to raise questions of truth and justice whenever and before whomever it is necessary, but that we must respect the Church hierarchy and use language that is appropriate.
This leads us to the theme of the grave sin of judgment (condemnation). Namely, whether the condemnation of a person (rather than of a specific act) is expressed in polite or impolite language, it nevertheless belongs to those sins that devastate the soul and deprive it of the grace of God. This sin is particularly grave because we generally observe a person only externally and see (figuratively speaking) his face, while forgetting that God looks within, into the human heart. In this way, we come into conflict with God’s knowledge of a given person and imitate the spirit of the Antichrist, who will seek to appropriate the Judgment that the Father has entrusted exclusively to the Son (cf. John 5:22). We, therefore, see someone’s sin outwardly, but we do not see his inner repentance (if it exists), which takes place in the heart, the spiritual centre of our being. Moreover, it often happens that we judge someone for external sinful acts of which we are aware, while at the same time there exist in that person far greater deeds of mercy of which we are unaware. Ultimately, if we are honest and self-critical, we will notice that for most of the things for which we judge others, we ourselves are not entirely free. In this regard, the Lord clearly warns us, saying: “Judge not, that ye be not judged,” reminding us first to remove the beam from our own eye, and then to remove the speck from our brother’s eye (cf. Matt. 7:1–6). The sin of judgment must certainly be confessed, and once confessed, one must struggle against it consistently and persistently, so that it may be uprooted.
Sometimes the sin of judgment is combined with slander, especially when a person does not know all the facts about an event or an individual, yet assumes the right to speak about them. In this sense, a clear distinction must be made as to whether, in addition to judgment, slander is also present, and it should be confessed as such: slander is false testimony against another person, by which the ninth commandment—“Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour” (Exod. 20:16)—is directly violated. The observance of this commandment is not important only in earthly courts, but must be applied to the everyday context of our lives, such as the professional environment, where we must take care how we bear witness concerning our colleagues, safeguarding not only their moral character but also their professional integrity, which may be jeopardised by our false testimony. Slander may also take the form of a thoroughly malicious falsehood from the very outset, when a person is fully aware that he is lying and does so deliberately and intentionally—this is by far the gravest degree of this sin and requires bitter repentance. In any case, if we are aware that we have slandered someone in any way (consciously or unconsciously), we are obliged not only to repent and confess it, but also, as far as possible, to remove the slander from the name of the one who has been harmed.
At this point, we come to an entire group of sins related to weakness of character, which include hypocrisy, duplicity, and double-mindedness. Weakness of character is a great affliction and manifests itself in various ways, but hypocrisy is its principal expression. Let us note that in the New Testament we cannot find a single example of Christ exposing a sinner, regardless of the sin in question, whereas in several places He directly exposes the hypocrisy and duplicity of the Jewish leaders (cf. Matt. 23:13–29). It is sufficient on this occasion to mention only the Gospel account of the woman caught in adultery (cf. John 8:1–11). The woman was, therefore, found in a grave sin for which, in the Old Testament, the strictest punishment—stoning—was prescribed. But how can one who is himself bound by similar or even graver sins pass judgment on such a person? This is precisely what happened to the Jewish leaders. When they, testing Christ, asked Him what should be done with the woman, He called for the one among them who was without sin to cast the first stone at her. Meanwhile, He was writing something on the ground with His finger. Interpreters of Holy Scripture inform us what He was writing: nothing other than the sins of each of the accusers individually. This is why, convicted by their own conscience, they all withdrew one by one (cf. John 8:3–11). Taking this account into consideration, let us ask ourselves: by what right do we judge others when we ourselves are in sin? And this kind of hypocrisy occurs regularly: we demand that our children be well-mannered, while we ourselves behave improperly; we expect our colleagues to be diligent in their work, while we ourselves are lazy; we expect the clergy to lead holy lives, while we are immersed in vices. Therefore, if we are prone to hypocrisy and duplicity, as we often are, we should at least muster the strength to openly confess the weakness of our character and ask forgiveness from God.
Among the sins of weakness of character is also cowardice, whose principal manifestations are fearfulness and excessive anxiety. Cowardice is a weakness of character that is likewise incompatible with the Christian calling, which is why the fearful are placed among those who have suffered condemnation in eternity (Rev. 21:8). Closely connected with this sin is betrayal, and alongside it sometimes ill will, deceitfulness, and incitement.
Anger is a very common sin on the list of external, observable sins. It is noteworthy that it is almost regularly accompanied by judgment and fornication, and that these three sins are connected by certain peculiar threads, drawing strength from one another. Furthermore, behind anger and judgment, as coarse external sins, there lies an exceedingly dangerous internal sin—pride—which will be discussed later; for now, it suffices to note that anger and judgment outwardly reveal the presence of this insidious enemy of our soul.
Anger has various manifestations, such as irritability, quarrelsomeness, intolerance, rage, and harshness. At times, anger is accompanied by less pronounced passions such as impatience, grumbling, complaining, and nagging; therefore, when confessing, one should take all these nuances into account. If anger is constantly present on the mental level, and not only in outward manifestations, then the spiritual problem is more serious, as this condition is usually accompanied by resentment and vindictiveness, that is, the desire to repay evil with evil. These passions are more difficult to heal than anger itself, since anger usually flares up and subsides quickly, whereas resentment and vindictiveness (as internal states) smoulder for days, months, or even years. This distinction is particularly important for recognising the spiritual affliction—anger is generally easy to perceive even from one’s facial expression, but sometimes it happens that a person does not outwardly erupt at all, while inwardly he burns, which belongs to the problem of internal passions that will be discussed later.
Among the external, coarse, and evident sins are also various forms of sensual indulgence, although it too may have its internal manifestations, since there are subtle forms expressed through inward delight, which requires discernment in each particular case. As an external passion, sensual indulgence is usually connected with fornication (which falls within its scope), and then with gluttony, overeating, and drunkenness. The sins of excess in eating and drinking should not be underestimated, however insignificant they may seem to us—they are often the first step towards more serious sinful states. Moreover, a person can gain mastery over other coarse passions only after he has mastered his tongue, throat, and stomach, which is the beginning of the formation of a firm will and character.
All those who underestimate the sins of excess in eating and drinking should recall the Gospel account of the insensitive rich man, who delighted in earthly pleasures, whereby his heart became hardened to such an extent that he did not see the poor Lazarus lying before his gate, covered with sores which the dogs licked. After death, the unnamed rich man cries out from Hades to Patriarch Abraham to help him by sending poor Lazarus to dip his finger in water and cool his tongue (cf. Luke 16:19–24). Why does he ask for help in such a characteristic manner? Metropolitan Hierotheos (Vlachos), relying on the ascetical tradition of the Church, explains that this is because the rich man suffered from the passion of gluttony (which was joined with insensitivity to Lazarus’ suffering), and the tongue was the organ upon which this destructive passion was based—a passion that could not be satisfied in eternity. At this point, it is worth once again recalling the imperative of cleansing the soul from sin through repentance and confession “while we are on the way” (Matt. 5:25), that is, in this earthly life—once we pass into eternity, this will no longer be possible.
The confession of sins of excess in eating and drinking is, as noted, necessary also for the prevention of more serious sins, since this form of excess in the natural needs of the body leads to spiritual insensitivity (cf. Luke 21:34), spiritual insensitivity to debauchery, and debauchery to the gravest sins. Here it is also necessary to mention one unnatural passion, namely smoking. We shall pose only one question in this regard: if a person sins when he satisfies the natural needs for food and drink beyond measure, how much more does he sin when he creates unnatural needs such as smoking cigarettes, which seriously endanger bodily health? As for the use of harder drugs (smoking being a form of a “lighter” drug), there is no need for further comment—the gravity and consequences of the sin of drug addiction are already clearly visible here and now, both in addicts themselves and in their families. In particular, with this type of sin, a firm resolve for a change of life is indispensable—without it, a person will destroy both bodily and spiritual health. In our time, there are also new forms of addiction (such as addiction to electronic content), which should likewise be mentioned in confession if present.
If a person lacks self-restraint, then he most likely does not observe the Church fasts, which in turn very likely means that he does not attend the Divine Liturgy regularly (or at all), that is, he is absent from the entire rhythm of ecclesial life. This is a state of spiritual laxity, which often manifests itself through specific sins such as indulgence of the body, laziness, idleness, and excessive rest. These states, which outwardly may not appear dangerous, often over time develop into severe depression. Let us not forget that laziness is treated as a mortal sin and that it has a destructive effect on a person’s salvation if it is not healed—the Gospel account of the “wicked and slothful servant” who buried his talent instead of multiplying it (cf. Matt. 25:13–30) is more than sufficient to stir us to repentance and zeal.
Someone might think that this is excessive and that the rhythm of prayerful life is reserved only for priests. But do we truly believe that we shall not be called to account before God for allowing ourselves to lie in bed on Sundays instead of being at the Divine Liturgy? Do we truly think that we shall not be judged at the Last Judgment for knowing by heart countless tavern songs, while not knowing the Trisagion, the Lord’s Prayer, and the Creed? Do we truly suppose that we shall easily justify ourselves if, throughout our entire life, we have not even once read the entire New Testament, while out of idleness and empty curiosity we have read who knows how many thousands of pages of worthless material? The sin of negligence in the spiritual life must inevitably be confessed, and one’s condition corrected.
A particular group of external, easily observable sins concerns transgressions committed by words. “Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile,” counsels the Psalmist David (Ps. 33:13). Within this group of sins of speech are also some grave sins that we have already mentioned, such as judgment and false witness, although they are usually treated separately due to their gravity. Here we shall mention others which, though lesser, should not be underestimated. These include sins such as idle talk, jesting, gossip, mockery, profanity, and lying. The first thing to bear in mind regarding these sins, which are considered “lighter,” is that a so-called minor sin more easily becomes a grave one if it is not addressed in time, as was explained in the first part using the example of lying. The second thing to consider is the gradation according to the consequences that sins of speech produce in our surroundings—“the tongue has no bones, yet it breaks bones,” says an old proverb which sufficiently warns us. What may seem to us an entirely insignificant remark may have broken someone’s heart (or even bones, if the word led to a more severe outcome), for the tongue can indeed be “a sharpened razor” (cf. Ps. 51:2). In this sense, one should carefully reflect not only on whether we have sinned with our tongue in any of the aforementioned ways—it is almost certain that we have—but also on whether we have thereby caused some serious harm. In this group of sins, the context of the transgression is also very important—it is not the same whether we sinned with our tongue at a football match, in traffic, or in our own home; this relational context should also be mentioned during confession. Finally, a person may also blaspheme God with the tongue, which is a grave transgression requiring a particular penitential discipline. It goes without saying that, when confessing certain sins of speech, such as profanity, one should not literally quote the indecent expressions that were uttered—it is sufficient to describe briefly what is meant and to aim at the essence of the sin, without repeating it verbatim.
At the conclusion of this categorisation of coarse external sins, let us also mention public scandals, by which confusion is introduced into the souls of many through the promotion of immorality or through improper behaviour in public. At a time when there are ever fewer authentic media channels and ever more media “sewerage,” such phenomena have seriously poisoned our already morally declining society. In this sense, besides the actors who directly commit such sins (such as irresponsible actors, presenters, and the like), equal responsibility is borne by the owners of media companies, directors, producers, programme editors, and all those involved in enterprises that generate profit through the mass promotion of sin and the corruption of human souls. This also includes every form of participation in the advertising of sin, such as the public promotion of gambling and betting, which in our time exacts a heavy toll, especially among young people (it is difficult even to provide an approximate estimate of the number of those addicted to the plague of betting in Serbia). A particular form of the sin of public scandal is a life that does not correspond to the level expected of a person who holds a responsible public office, whether he be a teacher or a clergyman, a physician or a politician. In this regard, a simple rule applies: the greater the office, the greater the responsibility.
Confession of Sins That Are Not Externally Visible
External, visible, bodily sins are most often manifestations of internal sinful states, or are directly connected with them. In the example of fornication, which is a coarse external sin, we have seen how everything in fact begins with simple thoughts, which over time develop into a serious spiritual problem if they are not rejected at their inception. Every sin, therefore, is usually preceded by a simple thought, depending on a person’s particular weakness. If there is no habit of cutting off such thoughts, they gradually grow and develop, eventually enslaving the person.
Sinful thoughts are confessed concisely during confession, to the extent necessary for the priest to discern the state of the soul—that is, what the mind of the person is struggling with and the measure of success or failure in that struggle. Here it should be especially emphasised that so-called blasphemous thoughts (indescribable thoughts related to the Lord Jesus Christ, the Mother of God, the saints…) are confessed in a very simple manner as blasphemous, without any description whatsoever, since they are not truly ours but are imposed by the enemy of our salvation in order to cast us into despair and despondency. Moreover, as the watchful Fathers observe, the very fact that such thoughts disturb us deeply and produce an unpleasant feeling in us already indicates that they are an external suggestion, which we should simply reject and not accept, lest at some point they become our own.
In the matter of internal sinful states, the fundamental problem lies in distraction and inattention on the one hand, and in the lack of noetic prayer on the other. This classical combination of spiritual laxity enables sin to grow within us and to imperceptibly occupy ever greater portions of the inner space of our being. If, in addition, there is carelessness and a lack of discernment, then sin gains a wide field in which to operate.
Given all that has been said, it is particularly striking that we usually fail to perceive our own inner desolation, yet we often presume to judge the inner sinful disposition of others. The reason is clear: we are negligent in prayer, hurried and distracted, and therefore we do not properly see our own inner state. Here a seeming paradox arises—the more a person advances in the purification of the soul, the more sins he perceives within himself, and vice versa. This, however, should not surprise us: on a clean wall even a small stain is clearly visible, whereas on a wall already covered with graffiti one may add as much dirt as one wishes and little will stand out. Thus, our own state of spiritual laxity, manifested primarily in inattention and distraction, often leads us into sins of thought.
If our mind were to invoke more frequently the most powerful Name, with the words, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me,” we would crush sin at the very level of the initial suggestion, and it would have no opportunity to develop further, but would instead “melt like wax before the fire.” Unfortunately, since we are generally not in a state of attentive prayer, we chronically suffer under the tyranny of thoughts, which swarm in our mind like bees in a hive—this being a primary indication that the mind is not functioning as it should. Such a condition must certainly be confessed, and one should seek healing from a spiritual father, who will introduce us to the method of noetic prayer in a spirit of repentance.
Since we already struggle with prayer, we should ask ourselves whether we also struggle with faith. To begin with, each of us should examine whether we sincerely and firmly believe and confess as the Orthodox Church believes and confesses, or whether we believe according to our own personal notions. This is important because everything begins with faith, including our ethical life, however often we may be unaware of it. Therefore, if there is weak faith (that is, doubt in the truths of Orthodoxy, in the power of God, or in divine providence) or false belief (heterodox thinking), such a condition must be recognised and confessed. Likewise, if we believe correctly but are ungrateful to God or blaspheme His Name in times of distress, we also commit a sin that must be confessed.
A particular problem in this domain is the betrayal of God through the acceptance or practice of various superstitions. There exists a multitude of superstitious habits by which God is betrayed: from reading coffee grounds and horoscopes (which many regard as harmless entertainment, but which in fact constitute a primitive superstition incompatible with Orthodoxy), to visiting various gurus, psychics, sorcerers, fortune-tellers, and practitioners of so-called white or black magic, all the way to the use of so-called “hodja’s charms” (which are themselves a forbidden practice even among Muslims). All of the above is absolutely unacceptable for Christians and represents nothing other than an act of spiritual betrayal, which as such must be bitterly lamented, promptly confessed, and never repeated. Unfortunately, most people have no awareness whatsoever of the depth of the fall in such cases, nor of the fact that by engaging in such superstitions they effectively renounce the true faith. This kind of betrayal is especially grave if a person lives a liturgical life—for how can one even conceive of reconciling such sins with participation in the Divine Liturgy and communion in the Holy Mysteries of Christ?
It is also necessary to mention the increasingly widespread use of meditative techniques originating in the Far East, which, simply put, are not compatible with Orthodox spirituality. For example, in the case of practising the meditative system of yoga, a Christian finds himself in a kind of schizophrenic spiritual state: he employs a method that is fundamentally anthropocentric (rather than Christocentric) and thereby drives away the grace of God instead of steadily acquiring it. Moreover, various meditative “states” may over time lead to serious spiritual delusions (collectively referred to as prelest), since the practitioner lacks the experience necessary to distinguish between created and uncreated energies—something that can have very grave spiritual consequences. If, in addition, these Far Eastern meditative techniques are combined with the philosophical-religious traditions upon which they are founded (such as ideas of intellectual union with the cosmos or with an impersonal Absolute), then one arrives at a spiritual fall equivalent to classical idolatry and an open betrayal of the True God. All such delusive states and experiences, if present, must be confessed in repentance, and the aforementioned meditative practices must be abandoned and replaced with noetic prayer within the liturgical life of the Church.
In considering the topic of internal sinful states that are not externally visible, particular attention should be given to two sins that inevitably assail each of us: pride and self-love (egoism). These two sins are by far the most dangerous and, at the same time, the most insidious enemies of our spiritual health. Moreover, this “duo” stands in direct opposition to humility and love—where pride and self-love reign, there is no humility or love, and conversely, where true humility and love prevail, these sins simply have no place. For this reason, we must struggle against pride and self-love until they are eradicated, without mercy: either they will endure, or our spiritual health will.
Let us begin with pride, our chief enemy among the passions. It is a grave spiritual illness in which a person places himself at the centre of the world, exalts himself above others, and becomes both his own idol and a mental obsession to himself. There are, moreover, various forms of pride. The most easily recognisable is the pride of falsely so-called reason, which particularly affects those who possess knowledge in certain fields, hold high titles, are renowned for something, or are simply talented, and thus come to hold an excessively elevated opinion of themselves. Yet even simple and uneducated people may suffer from pride, though this form is more difficult to detect (it may be discerned, to some extent, through external sins such as the habit of judging others). A particularly severe form of pride afflicts those who possess virtues but lack humility, and therefore hold an exceedingly high opinion of themselves in a spiritual sense. From pride there directly proceed various sinful states, which should likewise be confessed if they are present. Among these are arrogance, conceit, narcissism, haughtiness, vanity, insolence, boldness, mockery, contempt, and oversensitivity to offence.
One might ask: is pride, with all its derivatives, truly a greater sin than murder? Let us respond: if pride were not the root, would there be murder at all? History is replete with proud, arrogant, vain, and audacious leaders who imagined themselves above others and, as such, led entire nations into catastrophic mass destruction (the two World Wars are a classic example). On the other hand, there is no known example of a humble ruler who initiated wars of conquest or tyrannised his own people. Therefore, pride is the most grievous illness, which must be treated uncompromisingly, for it is the foundation of the most serious sins. Admittedly, there are times when we fail to recognise pride within ourselves (especially if we possess certain virtues or are zealous, and are thereby carried away); yet this is precisely why the role of the spiritual father is indispensable—he can discern our pride when we ourselves cannot, and thus guide the healing of our spiritual wounds.
Self-love (egoism) is the second, equally dangerous sin that regularly assails us. We have all, from childhood, become accustomed to this sin, when those around us placed us in the role of being the centre of the world (a child-centred mentality, especially in our time, exacts a heavy toll), teaching us that it is natural for all manner of gifts to be offered to us, from toys and sweets to attention and applause. Later, as adults, we become further habituated to this pattern through the framework of consumer society, in which everything is tailored to our needs and preferences, since, as consumers, we have become the focus of corporate attention (not because corporations love us, but because they seek profit from us). Thus we grow accustomed to self-love as to a warm bath. The most troubling aspect is that we sometimes mistake self-love for genuine love, imagining that we love others when in fact we love only ourselves, forgetting that true love is always sacrificial in character. The sin of self-love also manifests itself in various forms, including selfishness, self-centredness, self-pity, self-justification, stubbornness, and self-will. It goes without saying that we must examine ourselves in light of each of these sinful states, and, if we recognise them within ourselves, confess them.
Self-love is somewhat easier to recognise than pride for one simple reason: it is felt directly by those who live with us. How many marriages have collapsed because spouses were unwilling to struggle against egoism, each seeking only what was his or her own? In this regard, it has been rightly observed that the principal cause of the breakdown of contemporary Christian marriages lies in the unwillingness of spouses to struggle against their own passions (we emphasise: their own, not those of the other). Among these passions, egoism often occupies the foremost place, which is why it must be resisted with all one’s strength, as in the case of pride. As a beginning, one might at least serve the members of one’s household, learn to rejoice in their joys and to grieve in their sorrows, until in time we ourselves become their joy (through selfless giving) and cease to be their sorrow (through selfish infliction of pain).
A frequent companion of pride and self-love is envy, which, let us recall, was the cause of the first murder in the history of mankind, when Cain slew his brother Abel (cf. Gen. 4:3–8). There is scarcely a person who has not at least once experienced envy or succumbed to it. Interestingly, very few are willing to admit that they suffer from it. Like self-love, envy has its roots in early childhood, when we envy a brother or sister for having a larger toy, a classmate for success at school, or a teammate for achieving a better result in sport. Indeed, if we believe that we are free from this passion, let us ask ourselves the following: why do we not sincerely rejoice in the success of our neighbour as in our own? The reason is envy and nothing else. It is sometimes accompanied by malicious joy, a particular spiritual ailment manifested as a strange and unhealthy inner satisfaction at another’s misfortune.
Another frequent companion of pride, self-love, and envy is vainglory, that is, the desire for human, empty glory, which manifests itself as the need to be recognised, respected, and seen (in our time: to be “followed” on social networks). This passion also includes its indirect manifestations, such as the love of honour (the desire to receive special recognition), boasting (the inclination to display one’s achievements before others), and the striving for precedence, which the Lord Himself pointed out to His disciples and apostles as a worldly temptation incompatible with the perspective of the Kingdom of God (cf. Mark 10:35–45).
There is yet another serious internal passion, which has become especially widespread in our time and must certainly be mentioned in confession if it is recognised. This is avarice, which consists in an insatiable thirst for acquisition and enrichment. Avarice was the illness of Judas the betrayer, who, failing to recognise it, ultimately betrayed his Lord for thirty pieces of silver (cf. Matt. 26:15). This passion should not be confused with the natural need to increase material goods and to manage one’s household responsibly. It is something quite different—avarice is a form of idolatry that places the acquisition of money at the forefront of life, even above God, which is clearly evident in the occupation of one’s thoughts with the pursuit of wealth, to the extent that it burdens even one’s prayer. Because of its destructive effect on the soul, the Apostle Paul calls avarice “the root of all evils” (1 Tim. 6:10). Avarice is closely accompanied by greed and acquisitiveness, while its other “companions” include people-pleasing, flattery, and sycophancy, as these serve as indirect means of attaining wealth or positions of power.
Where pride, self-love, envy, avarice, and vainglory are present, hatred easily takes root as well—a particularly grave spiritual wound. If we openly hate someone, can we truly be called servants of Christ? For the Lord calls us to love even our enemies (cf. Matt. 5:44), in the sense of sincerely desiring their salvation, as He Himself did from the Cross (cf. Luke 23:34). The opposite of hatred is love, which is the surest mark of a healthy soul, and here we arrive at the central point of our reflection—if the two greatest commandments are to love God with all our being and to love our neighbour as ourselves (cf. Matt. 22:37–39; Mark 12:30–31), then our greatest sin is precisely that we do not possess such a measure of love. “He who has My commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves Me” (John 14:21), says the Lord, giving us a clear criterion by which we may assess whether we truly love God. On the other hand, in the parable of the Good Samaritan (cf. Luke 10:25–37), we are given a clear framework for evaluating whether we possess genuine love for our neighbour. Does any one of us fulfil these measures? Hardly anyone. And have we ever confessed that we lack sufficient true love for God and for our neighbour? Here is an opportunity to reflect deeply and to consider what our essential sin is—the one from which all our sufferings proceed.
At the end of this list of sins, let us say something about despair. It is a grave sinful state in which many have lost their souls, ultimately even raising their hand against themselves—the example of Judas Iscariot is the most tragic (cf. Matt. 27:3–5). Despair is preceded by states of hopelessness, faint-heartedness, excessive sorrow, and despondency. All these conditions must be confessed without fail if they are present, and help should be sought from a spiritual father, in order to prevent the final outcome of despair, which through suicidal thoughts may lead a person to eternal destruction.
A person may fall into despair due to the loss of health, family problems, or the collapse of one’s work. Yet especially grievous is the state in which one despairs because of a serious sin, believing that there is no salvation for him. Therefore, let us remember well: even if we have committed every sin, even if we are the most sinful of all people, we must never allow ourselves to fall into despair—the mercy of God is immeasurably greater than all our sins, and God is always ready to forgive us, provided that we, for our part, are ready to offer Him active repentance. If we fall into any sin, let us repent as quickly as possible and confess before a priest, so that we may receive spiritual consolation and the strength to move forward again, towards Christ. If the Lord God would have forgiven even Judas the betrayer had he sincerely repented and sought forgiveness, He will surely forgive us as well, if we possess sincere repentance, are ready to confess our sins openly, and are prepared to struggle against them to the very end.
Finally, bearing in mind that the first man to enter Paradise was the repentant thief (cf. Luke 23:42–43), let us also cry out to the Lord with the words, “Remember me, O Lord, in Thy Kingdom,” and let us sincerely have recourse to the Holy Mystery of repentance and confession, without doubting for a single moment the mercy of God. If we act in this way, God will receive us into His fatherly embrace (cf. Luke 15:11–32) and lead us into eternal joy.
Glory and thanks be to the Lord our God for all things!
The text was originally published in the newspaper Pravoslavlje (March–April 2026), within the framework of cooperation with the Missionary Department of the Archdiocese of Belgrade and Karlovci in the field of publishing missionary-oriented articles. The electronic version of the text was originally published on the Kinonia portal, the official portal of the Missionary Department of the AEM.
*This manual for confession is highly concise and it is understood that it does not encompass everything that needs to be known. For a far more detailed and comprehensive treatment of the sins that should be recognised and confessed, the author recommends the excellent work of the ever-memorable Archimandrite John (Krestiankin), entitled On Repentance and Confession (published in Serbian as part of the book From Sin to God). This text, spanning approximately ninety densely typed pages, treats in great depth the recognition of sins for the purpose of preparing for confession, using as its reference framework the Ten Commandments and the Beatitudes. In this sense, the brief manual you have just read may also be understood as a kind of introduction to the aforementioned work of this great spiritual father of our time, which should be read by anyone who desires to prepare as thoroughly as possible for confession (author’s note).
