On Tuesday, 29 April 2025, at 7 p.m., a regular professional consultation was held for the clergy of the Archdiocese of Belgrade–Karlovci with up to three years of service. The topic of the lecture was “Practical Recommendations for the Pre-Marital Assessment and the Rite of Marriage.” The event took place in the crypt of the Church of St. Great Martyr Panteleimon in Mirijevo and was attended by approximately 25 priests, along with several senior clergy who came to share their pastoral experience.
Following the welcoming remarks of the parish priest, Presbyter Fr. Jovan Jeftenić, the introductory address was given by Presbyter Fr. Dr. Oliver Subotić, Head of the Missionary Department of the Archdiocese of Belgrade–Karlovci, who expressed his gratitude to the parish priest for his warm welcome and the opportunity to hold this type of mentoring session in the church crypt. A substantial introductory lecture then followed, delivered by Protopresbyter-Stavrophor Fr. Vajo Jović, coordinator of the Section for Parish Mission of the Missionary Department AEM.
Fr. Vajo gave a brief overview of the topic and then presented numerous practical recommendations, mostly drawn from his extensive pastoral experience. At the very beginning of his talk, he placed particular emphasis on the importance of thorough and responsible preparation of future spouses for the Holy Mystery of Marriage, underlining this as an essential pastoral responsibility. He also referred to the practice of conducting the pre-marital assessment as a prayerful act within the church, followed by an explanation of the structure and meaning of the wedding ceremony. Where possible, he recommended gifting the couple a prayer book, the Holy Scriptures, or some other appropriate Orthodox literature on marriage.
The speaker highlighted the ancient practice of performing the Sacrament of Marriage as part of the Divine Liturgy, stressing that such an act should be preceded by adequate preparation of both the couple and the liturgical community. For such occasions, he recommended the book published by “Svetigora” titled Orthodox Marriage and Family – The Holy Sacrament of Love, in which the wedding rite within the Divine Liturgy is explained in detail. Fr. Vajo also emphasized the beneficial practice of the couple receiving confession and Holy Communion before the wedding, explaining why this is important for a blessed beginning of Christian married life.
Fr. Vajo Jović also offered a critical reflection on certain inappropriate practices that, unfortunately, sometimes occur during the performance of the wedding ceremony. He emphasized that the Holy Mystery should not be burdened with unsuitable additions, but rather that the officiant should adhere to the text prescribed in the Church’s Trebnik (Book of Needs). He particularly underlined the necessity of pastoral patience, which the priest must exercise during the celebration of the rite. Fr. Vajo also offered guidance for dealing with exceptional situations, such as if the couple arrives late, if someone feels unwell during the ceremony, or if one of the spouses has physical limitations (e.g., immobility, hearing impairment, etc.). He also addressed how the priest should respond if he himself faces personal trials or health issues during the ceremony.
Fr. Dr. Oliver Subotić followed Fr. Vajo’s introductory presentation with his personal observations and additional recommendations. He reminded the audience of the practical value of pre-marital catechesis, through which the couple would be gradually prepared for the Holy Mystery of Marriage. He also pointed to the need for publishing a concise catechetical brochure aimed at presenting an Orthodox understanding of marriage to the engaged couple. Fr. Oliver shared a number of examples from his own pastoral experience, including exceptional cases when, for instance, the couple and their guests forget the necessity of arriving for the wedding in a sober state. He offered concrete advice for managing such situations with composure and authority, emphasizing that the priest’s role is to act wisely, prudently, and calmly to preserve the dignity of the rite and of the couple themselves.
Protopresbyter Stevan Vukić, parish priest of the Church of St. Alexander Nevsky, also took part in the discussion part of the lecture. He shared his extensive pastoral experience and emphasized the need for the pre-marital assessment not to be reduced to a mere administrative task, as frequently happens nowadays, but rather for the priest to thoroughly instruct the couple in the sanctity of marriage and to set aside sufficient time for an instructive conversation, preferably later in the day.
A lively discussion followed, with young priests who raised numerous relevant questions related to the practice. These included: whether there are circumstances in which a pre-marital asssessment ought to be repeated; what to pay attention to when examining degrees of spousal kinship; what to do when the couple is inappropriately dressed for the ceremony; and how to proceed if they request to be married during a fasting period. A special topic concerned the book of marital rules, to which Fr. Vajo drew particular attention.
The lecture and the discussion together lasted approximately one and a half hours. Thanks to the efforts of Fr. Jovan Jeftenić, a modest reception was prepared for all attending clergy. The next mentorship session for young priests of the Archdiocese is scheduled for the end of May 2025.
