“A child does not seek perfection, but the possibility to be what it truly is,” said Dr Vlajko Panović.
During his two-day visit to Valjevo, clinical psychologist Dr Vlajko Panović—one of the leading experts in the field of parenting and the crisis of the modern family—met with parents from the First and Second Primary Schools in Valjevo, as well as with the protégés of the Correctional Facility for Juvenile Offenders. In addition to these closed meetings, those who wished to ask for advice or exchange experiences with him had the opportunity to do so on 4 November at the Church of the Protection of the Most Holy Theotokos, where Dr Panović gave a lecture on the topic “How to Raise an Authentic, Not a Copy-Paste Child.” He emphasized that there are far more of the latter, and sent a message to parents to nurture the uniqueness of their children, since an authentic child is spontaneous and carries genuine joy within itself. This lecture, attended by His Grace Bishop Isihije of Valjevo, continued the series of public discussions titled “Orthodoxy and Youth.” The evening was musically enriched by the Chamber Choir Emanuel under the direction of Vanja Urošević.
The Missionary Department of the Archdiocese of Belgrade–Karlovci (AEM) has launched a series of conversations on parenting, and Valjevo is among the first cities to express interest in hearing the insights and advice of Dr Vlajko Panović, a clinical psychologist with decades of experience. At the beginning of his talk, Dr Panović observed that we live in a time lacking in virtue and courage, and therefore it is crucial for parents to resist social pressures and affirm authenticity in their children. Authenticity, he said, means allowing a child to be spontaneous, rather than strictly controlled or manipulated. “Only a spontaneous child carries true joy within,” Panović stated.
Interestingly, the lecturer considers children who are good, quiet, obedient, and who do not ask too many questions to be inauthentic, since, as he explained, “A child does not seek perfection, but the possibility to be what it truly is.” “A copy-paste child thinks in the same way as its peers, conforms to their pressures, and is deprived of critical thinking,” emphasized Dr Panović, adding that society should encourage children to aim high, to develop empathy towards others, to love sincerely, and to believe that love is above all about giving, not taking. This does not mean that a child should not fit into a system of values, but it is essential that parents remain united rather than divided when it comes to child-rearing. The speaker cited numerous examples from his extensive practice and concluded that, in this age of moral crisis and the scarcity of virtue and courage, change must begin with ourselves, through personal example. “The essence of a good educator is to be firm, not harsh,” concluded the guest of the “Orthodoxy and Youth” lecture series.
A warm welcome was extended to Dr Panović by Proto-presbyter Nemanja Tripković, while Bishop Isihije of Valjevo added that he has known Dr Panović for many years and that they had cooperated extensively during the Bishop’s time at the Monastery of Kovilj. Several attendees shared their own experiences and posed questions, to which Dr Panović patiently responded. Concluding this instructive evening, Fr Dejan announced two upcoming lectures that will commemorate important anniversaries: 1,700 years since the First Ecumenical Council and 850 years since the birth of St Sava. Child and adolescent psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Dr Biljana Pirgić is expected to deliver the traditional December lecture, as Fr Dejan also announced.
Written by: Marina Marić
Source: Diocese of Valjevo
